Old Habits Die Hard – Part 3 – 6th Standard

If almost failing the Science exam was one thing, trying to pretend a heart ailment for bunking a Science unit test was the  complete extreme of my actions. Every day, those who had to go to the General Hospital were lined up and sent after the Morning Assembly was over. So quite often, I would find some or the other excuse like eye-pain, eye-infection, sprain, allergy etc to somehow go to the hospital and thus be able to bunk the first period which was always default ‘Human Values’ except when there was an exam or unit test.(ironically I just hate anything to do with hospitals, and begin to nauseate immediately upon entering one due to the smell[however sterile the smell maybe, guess I just hate the sterile smell itself], however the two hospitals which are an exception to that list, are the general hospital and the super-specialty hospital at Parthi which I found to be strangely devoid of any of that horrible smell)

So one fine day, when I had run out any more excuses to bunk the classes by going to the General Hospital, I decided I had to somehow bunk the HV classes, and so set upon devising my next excuse to get to the Hospital. This would be my boldest attempt yet, at creating excuses. I decided(don’t know why I used to always think that when doctors put a stethoscope over yur chest and back and ask you to breathe in-and-out, they were simply trying to find some patterns, which I then believed, from my limited knowledge gleaned mostly from watching movies, that I could simply fake symptoms of some mysterious heart ailment), to change my breathing style into spurts whenever Doctor Aunty(Sunanda Aunty, of whom more will be described in the next standard experiences) closed her eyes to concentrate on the stethoscope or looked up or around while asking me to breathe.

So it came to be, that she gave me tablets for a few days, but I kept returning with the same complaint, a sharp pain in the lower part of my heart, specially whenever I do strenuous things like running or jogging or lifting my bed. She must have found it strange not to notice anything, but never mentioned anything to me. And after I came twice with the same complaint, she sent me to that long-awaited destination, General Hospital. I spent a good part of 4 HV classes on consecutive days, happily enacting the same drama over again for the doctors at General Hospital, who tried out a different medication on each day, and still couldn’t come up with what the ailment was, since they couldn’t find anything wrong, and I kept claiming there was some pain. So they decided to wait a week, and see if another medication they prescribed would bring about any change. As usual I took the tablets, threw them straight into the dustbin, happy at having bunked another class again(yes, since we used to get those tablets free, I never knew their value then).

In the meantime, some serious developments took place in the  classroom. A lot of times, I had got delayed in the Hospital during those checkups and as a result had missed out on the 2nd period of most days, Science. This wasn’t a very good thing. Firstly because I was very very very interested in Science, and secondly, because the Unit Test we scheduled after 2 days, and I knew absolutely nothing to write for the Science Test. Probably the first time I hadn’t studied. I was terrified like hell, not for failing, but more for my image. I was generally regarded as quite brilliant and especially so at Science, which I really was, back then. I was afraid of what would happen to all that image if I failed this Test, which I surely would, if I was forced to write it. So I began weighing my options and found the only solution was to somehow bunk the Test, and the only possible way, was to get someplace that would eat up more time than the Science period to somehow get back after the Science period.

So I set the plan in motion by complaining the next day, of severe pain again, and was marched back to the Hospital, where the doctor must have decided either he must be dumb, or I must be mad. Whichever it was, he decided to put an end to this charade, and told me he was referring me to the Super Specialty Hospital for tomorrow, which was exactly what I wanted. My joy knew no bounds. At last I had somehow managed to bunk or atleast make sure I would bunk one single test in my life(sadly that was the last test I bunked, I never got to bunk another one all my life). I spent that night trying to rehearse how I would fake my pain tomorrow, because the tests were obviously going to be more exhaustive. In my limited knowledge I tried to devise a foolproof plan to fool people who were in that field for more than 15 to 20 years. I decided a strategy of alternating my breathing styles between fast, slow and gasps would be enough to solve the issue, specially if it was done in a manner of random repetition of each of these with seemingly no patterns between any two sets of breaths.(must have probably been one of the few people who put so much thought and effort into professionally acting sick)

The grand morning arrived, and I went around telling everybody that I would be bunking the Test today, since I had to go to the “Super Specialty Hospital”. And atleast for a few minutes they looked at me in awe, because most of them hadn’t ever gone in, only seen it from outside(me included, that was my first trip in, atleast I got to get in that way. After Assembly we left for the Hospital in the Ambassador, with Aarti Aunty driving, and soon reached inside. Since it was the first visit for us three students who had come, Aarti Aunty took around on a tour of the entire hospital, showing us some sights that left us spellbound for the rest of our lives(atleast the rest of my life). Soon it was the time of reckoning, and I was taken to a bed and made to wait till the doctor finished with the patient next to me. Then he came to me, asked me what my name and problem was, and took me into another room where there was only a single bed with a monitor(TV, didn’t know the word Monitor then) in front of it. My shirt was taken off, and a green gel was applied all over my chest, and he had a kind of rubbery sponge handle that he moved over my chest all the while looking at the screen, asking to breathe in different styles. I saw some gibberish lines moving across the monitor, as well as a representation of my heart and the way it changed its beat each time I breathed differently.

So I set about the ultimate challenge, fooling the experts in their own field without even having any knowledge about it. I thought it definitely put the doctor off the track, since he kept asking me if was breathing the way he was asking, and he kept putting a serious expression through it all. Then after about 3 or 4 minutes which seemed to last atleast an hour, he told me to put on my shirt, and leave. I asked him, what my problem was. He replied in the sweetest way I ever knew of somebody seeing through my game “the problem with you is, you have absolutely no problem”. However my feelings were, the one person whose face didn’t hide any signs of relief was Doctor Aunty. So we began the journey back. I kept praying Aarti Aunty would drive more slowly, because I had no idea what the time was, and whether the test was over by now or not. Finally I reached the classroom just in time, to find Beena Maam leaving the class with all the answer papers. That day I really believed I would never see a happier day in my life.

to be continued… … …

 

Old Habits Die Hard – Part 2 – 6th Standard

To think I had improved would be an overstatement. I began to honestly feel I had improved simply because I was never dragged into HM’s office throughout my 6th Standard. But on a more sub-conscious level, whenever I thought about it, I never found anything in me that had changed. It was as if I was still the same person, but the circumstances that led me to HM’s office every year, were simply not happening now. Though I never thought of it that way then, now that I realise, it must have been within me all along, only I never had the opportunity to get myself dragged into the office.

This was the year when I got back into an old habit of mine, copying, probably for the last time in my life. I don’t know what led me into it, probably the long gap from attempting to study and the subsequent pressure to study to appear good or probably something else.Whatever the reasons, I forced my self to appear hardworking and sincere, because I found the results being appreciated(thank Vasanthi Aunty for that) and therefore felt like being good(though it was all an act, nevertheless, it is very difficult to act good). This copying thing was a one-off experiment I had decided to try and so teamed up with IAK. Since after the 5th Standard, the batches continued to be divided into Ooty and Parthi, we both were in ‘B’ Section, and since we had joined in Parthi itself, he was Roll No. 1 and I was Roll No.2.

Since for the exams we were to be seated in attendance order, he was in the first bench, right under the invigilator’s nose, and I was right behind him in the second bench. We devised an ingenious way to not only get through the exams, but do so in flying colours.(Ok. Many would find nothing ingenious in it, but back then, it was very ingenious to us, since nobody else was trying it. Also it seemed like something made for us[wish I had known about SWOT analysis then]. It complemented our both strengths very well, as well as brought about a kind of synergy between us)

We decided to learn half the syllabus each, for the half-yearly exams. For every subject, he would read the first-half of the notes and I would read the second-half. And I mean read as in learn it to the maximum level of perfection that can be achieved from mere reading of a book. If any of us was asked something from our half, no matter from any nook or corner, we could answer it a hundred without getting it wrong a single time. Back then we never knew of words like ‘division of labour’ or ‘specialisation’, though now those words seem to make a lot of sense. So we dutifully learnt our respective portions, and we would tell each other the answers to the paper based on whose syllabus it was. And for the Final exams, we would reverse our positions in the book and get to know the entire book in a phased manner.

The one special character who deserves mention in the midst of all this is Raghu Ram. He was our junior, and used to sit next to me for the exams. For every exam we both used to have an open challenge on who would submit the paper first. The challenge was to not only finish within the first 2 hours and submit, it was about who would submit first and also score more. The moment the exam would begin,he would ask for 5 or 6 additionals and never raise his head till he finished. Whereas, the moment the exam began, IAK and I would tick off which questions fell into whose share of the bargain, and begin forth the exchange process. Despite that I was always the one to submit before Raghu Ram, however when the results were out, ti was always he who scored in the Nineties and IAK and I always scored in the Eighties. So much for speed.

It all seemed a fine arrangement until the final exam for Science. We both prepared for our respective halves of the portions. The only twist being, that since very little had been covered before the Half-Yearly exams, and therefore what we learnt for the Half-Yearly exams was hardly 25% of the entire syllabus. Besides, my penchant for maintaining incomplete notes, or rather my laziness for maintaining notes of any kind came to the fore again more acutely in this case. We both studied our halves for the exam. Once we were handed the papers, we both had probably the most whitest/blank of all faces in the room, if there were any. We had absolutely no clue to more than 50% of the questions. And the person to blame was none other than me. I realised that I never had the notes of all that portion of the syllabus to begin with, and secondly IAK got the first half of the portion which we had already studied for half-yearly, and which accounted for only a pitiful 30% of the marks now.

That was probably the last day I copied in my life. The exam left me with so much self-deprivation on my planning and execution abilities, that I decided never to copy again, something I continue to follow religiously even today.

 

P.S.

The 6th Standard was the only year in my whole  school-life(high school included) that I got a Proficiency Prize, and I still have the Blue Slingbag with the Sarva Dharma logo, that I received as the prize. And evertime I look at it, it keeps reminding me, that this was something that I didn’t deserve, something that I cheated to get to. Something that now that I think of, was never worth cheating for. But then, in those days we never studied to get the Proficiency Prize. We only studied or cheated to get praised in class later.

to be continued… … …

Old Habits Die Hard – Part 1 – 6th Standard

I know am back after a very very very very very very long time, so thanks are due to those who kept checking back to see if the procrastinator in me had decided to write on this blog again. To many it might have seemed that it must be the end, but deep in my heart, i always knew i would come back here, because this is where it all started.

Having gone through such a traumatic experience i expected to behave in a such a manner that from the next time anybody needed to be disciplined my name would be quoted as an ideal example to follow. I hoped my name would be exalted as the model of discipline that everyone should follow. So i thought as i stepped out of the room having done the impossible, becoming the only student whose name was in the list of 20 to get admitted. And i seriously believed every word of what i thought at that moment.

However, fate had other plans in store for me. It showed me how little i knew of myself, and how naive i was in thinking that change was so easy and permanent.

The 6th standard brought about 2 things that would stay on in my life.
1. Vasanthi Aunty.
2. Self-Belief.

Though the two might read differently on screen or print, to me they came to mean the very same thing, a belief that nobody ever gave me before. For the first time in my life i couldn’t believe that somebody would go out of their way to teach delinquents like me Suprabatham and Astothram by including it in the Human Values Syllabus and making us learn it and recite it, simply because she found most of us never even knew 2 lines after attending Suprabatham and Astothram for a good 6 years.

This was also the first year when we had access to additional books apart from those that we had to read in the library. The 6th and 7th standard classrooms were stocked with encyclopedias a couple of alphabets for each section(including the girls classrooms), with the rest of the books being scattered among the higher classes of the girls classrooms. Since i had an unquenchable thirst for knowledge, i ran through the ones in our class in the first week of school reopening, and from then began to think of where i could get more of these wonderful books that showed me so much of the world that i never knew existed(although i had already run through the complete ‘Tell Me Why’ series at Jhansamma’s house during Holidays, those were more science-oriented, while this was general-purpose).

Needless to say, i ran through the two books in our class within 3 days, and soon had to begin looking for other ways to get more books. So i began the ‘great clandestine exchange’. Every week i would take the 2 books from our class cupboard and exchange it quietly with 2 others from another classroom. This way by the time 3 months were up had run through the whole series of the alphabet, and was left wishing there were more letters in the English alphabet. On one such day, Vasanthi Aunty was taking a class one day and suddenly she asked us what a Beagle was. Immediately i raised my hand and rattled off about it, and went to the cupboard and brought out the book i had just finished (the letters B and C), and showed her the picture of a Beagle. She was so pleased, her eyes were beginning to glint with the first drops of moistness.

Immediately she told me only one thing. “Thandav, when you become big, and become an IAS Officer, and when you come to see me, you must bring sweets.” “Gladly”, i told her. Sadly fate decided otherwise, and am nowhere near interested to becoming one, however, one thing i can promise her, i will definitely take sweets for her. One day i hope to keep the promise.

P.S.

That year-ending, Pandu and Thatha garu came to take me home, and they were discussing with HM Aunty something when i entered the room. Apparently it was something good about me, because everyone was all smiles when i entered. Then the conversation continued, and HM Aunty asked me “What will you become when you grow big?”. Without batting an eyelid, i replied “An IAS Officer”. Everyone’s eyes just popped out. “Why?” they collectively asked. I knew the answer but couldn’t tell them so, and therefore told me because everyone in my class tells me it is a nice job. The real answer was because i wanted to get sweets for Vasanthi Aunty.

to be continued… …